My Love
June 2005


Many times I have said those words,
"I love you", with an honest heart.
Did it mean less, that my beloved
Was not there to hear them?

A presence never felt, a tender
Kiss and embrace never known,
Is love that is thankless
Any less genuine, any less worthy?

No held hands, nor happy memories,
No family, nor child will be known.
"What will be of the soul that
Was never born?" do I despair.

The years draw by, the nights seem
Colder, with no heat to fend them off.
Does it matter, that I was the
Only one that knew we were in love?

How can I be all unhappy, when
I know I have loved my bless-ed best,
Even though the one I loved,
She knew nothing of my love?

My heart lays awaiting a future
That never comes, beating toward
An uncertain end - a time that
May come at any time.

Lesser miracles happen every day -
A murderer escapes, a fraudster
Wins, a liar marries, a wife-beater
Sleeps, a drug-dealer laughs;

So is it wrong of me to hope
For my beloved to know of
Me, and my love for her?
It is all I can hope for.

Inside, a barb-wire grips
My heart ever more piercingly.
The bleeding of my soul pours
Out through my skin sometimes.

The road to hell isn't clearly
Marked, but I've lost my way...
There's no-one around to ask,
But was ever there anyone, anyway?

Different paths cut through
Mine, my feet are tired from the
Walking, but my clothes hide
The blisters upon my body.

Almost all the grains have fallen
Through time's sandglass, yet aloneness
Is my ever present companion -
Sometimes we laugh, out of madness.

Who knows what tomorrow brings,
An inescapable gaol, where
The only rehabilitation is

I don't know what infraction I
Caused, to warrant such a harsh
Verdict - a life of searching,
For something that never would be.

All I have ever sook, are words,
Three words - how hard can they
Be? "I love you" from my beloved's
Lips, felt from her heart...